boundaries to raise successful kids
Every parent wants their child to be successful. However, success doesn’t happen magically – it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. As a parent, it’s essential to set boundaries for your kids. But it’s also necessary to make sure those boundaries are loving limits that help your kids make positive choices. So how do you do that?
This blog post will discuss 10 boundaries that every parent needs to establish to help their kids reach their full potential!🙂
Table of Contents
10 Boundaries to Raise Successful Kids
#1: Teach Responsibility.
Practical guidance is a matter of teaching responsibility.
The more responsible we are, the better our choices and decisions will be.
There would be no airline pilots if everyone flew around, not telling anyone where they would go or when they would return. We need boundaries in our lives to be free from restrictions that limit us from achieving what we can.
Kids need boundaries to be responsible.
Without them, they not be motivated to take care of themselves by being obedient, getting good grades, or performing well in sports.
Kids with too many choices do not develop self-discipline because they never learn to make good decisions when faced with many options consistently. They can’t help it! If they are not taught how to make decisions with limited options, they will never learn to make good ones.
It takes less energy to say yes than no.
It is easier for kids (and adults) if fewer choices. If you have five pairs of jeans in your closet, it would be overwhelming and exhausting if every morning you had to pick out which team you should wear that day.
The simpler your wardrobe, the less energy it takes to get dressed each morning. The same is true with our decisions—the fewer options we have, the easier it is to make a good one.
#2: Teach Self-Worth.
When kids live in an environment where they are treated with respect, they will learn to respect themselves. They must first be shown how to treat themselves through their words and actions before internalizing them.
The best way for kids to develop self-worth is by having an adult in their life who believes that they can do what the parent or adult wants them to do.
That’s why it is so vital that you are intent on controlling your kids and mentoring them. By showing them how to take care of themselves, value themselves, respect others, and make good decisions, you teach them about responsibility and self-worth.
#3:Teach Healthy Independence.
If you have ever taken a child on an outing where he had to carry his backpack, you may have noticed that he tried to bring it even though it was probably too heavy for him.
When you gave him back the pack, he proudly put it on his back again! If the choices you give your kids are healthy ones, more choices lead to greater independence.
#4: Teach Decision-Making.
When we deprive kids of the experience and skill of making choices, they will make poor ones because they do not know what is healthy. As parents and leaders, you model behaviors by the choices you make—what you say yes or no to, where you set boundaries, and how you respond when your kids try to convince you that their choice is better than yours.
One of the best examples of healthy boundaries occurs in parenting, where a child learns how to make choices from limited options within the parameters set by his parents. It does not matter what age a child is—eighteen months or eighteen years—the key to making good decisions has limited options.
#5: Teach Kids to Deal with Reality.
One of the major problems in today’s society is that people who do not know how to deal with reality are now responsible for making important choices and decisions about their lives, our country, and our world. As you teach kids to live within the boundaries of their families, they will become better able to deal with society’s limitations.
When you set limits on TV watching, video games, or computer time, for example, your children are learning that there are times when it’s appropriate to be sedentary and other times when they need to move. If you don’t control their screen time, you will find them becoming more passive and less active throughout their childhood.
#6: Teach Kids to Accept Consequences of Their Choices.
You cannot prepare kids for making healthy decisions for a lifetime unless you help them learn that accepting the consequences of their choices is part of the process. If they overeat candy, for example, they may get a stomachache. If they touch something hot, they will get burned. If they try to hit their brother without looking first and catch an elbow in the eye, it hurts!
It is impossible to protect kids from all pain or discomfort—they will get bumps and bruises no matter how hard you try to prevent them. The only way kids can learn that they need to consider the consequences of their choices is by giving them opportunities where they get burned.
#7: Teach Kids About Honesty and Integrity.
We tell children not to steal because we want them to be honest, kind people who make good decisions about what they do with their lives. This doesn’t mean that we protect them from all pain and discomfort, but it does mean that we go to great lengths to help our kids learn the difference between a mistake and a decision they make with their minds and hearts.
Through boundaries, you will teach your children about honesty and integrity. If they say they are going over to a friend’s house when they are going to a party with an older crowd, you can teach them that it’s not a wise decision.
Suppose they disrespect you, again and again. In that case, you will eventually have to show them through your actions that they cannot disrespect you, be disrespectful at home or in public, and expect to have a relationship with you.
#8: Teach Kids That They Are Allowed to Say “No.”
Kids need to learn that they can choose NOT to do what you ask them to do. If you have been consistent in your boundaries and limits, it is possible for a child as young as two years old to say no when asked to do something that she does not want or feel comfortable doing.
Boundaries are not designed to make kids obey—they are designed to teach them how to be responsible for themselves and their choices. Asking a child to do something she does not want to do is akin to coercing her, manipulating her, or attempting to control her behavior through fear. It’s the same way with teens who are asked to do something they don’t want to do—it makes them angry and resentful, causing them to lash out verbally or even physically.
Deciding whether the consequences are worth the behavior is part of making a good decision. If your child agrees with you that it’s not a wise choice for her to watch certain shows, play games, or interact with a particular person, then she is free to say no without feeling that you are trying to control her.
#9: Teach Kids How to Choose Friends Wisely.
Choosing friends wisely is essential for growing up and making good decisions. When kids refuse to obey their parents and disrespect them repeatedly, it affects how they get along with others. When they learn how to take responsibility for their choices, they can better handle friendships in positive ways.
#10: Teach Kids How to Be Productive Members of the Family and Society.
Family life is all about relationships—give and take, teaching kids what it means to be productive members of society. The way you interact with your children every day—the boundaries, limits, and consequences you set for them—will determine the kind of people they become in the world.
There are consequences to giving kids everything they want, no matter how irresponsible they act or what kinds of choices they make when given too much freedom. There are consequences to letting them do whatever they want regardless of how disrespectful they are or what types of problems they create for themselves or others.
Conclusion
Parents set boundaries because their kids need them, not because it’s something they must do to prove their love. Making rules and setting consequences is how you protect your kids from making life-altering choices that could haunt them for the rest of their lives.
The best thing you can do is let your children know that they are loved and supported even if they make a mistake. Let them know that their boundaries are not flexible, but loving limits help kids make positive choices.
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