raising teens
Do you feel like you are constantly butting heads with your teen? If so, you’re not alone! Power struggles are a common occurrence during the teenage years. It’s never easy being a parent. But it can be even more challenging when your teenager starts to push back and test your authority.
Power struggles are every day between teenagers and parents, but they do not have to be. You can do many things as a parent to avoid these power struggles with your teen.
First, the biggest problem in most parent-child relationships is that parents think their role is to be the all-knowing and all-powerful ruler of the household while their teen’s role is to be a powerless subject who must obey their rulers without question or else suffer consequences.
However, parents do not have the right to dictate every aspect of their teenager’s life; teenagers have freedom and human rights too!
As soon as you stop believing in this dynamic and adopt a more democratic parenting style, you will find that your problem with power struggles largely disappears.
Teens still get to have a say in how their lives are run so long as they do not abuse their freedoms, but because parents no longer treat them like disobedient subjects, teens follow the rules out of respect for their parents rather than because they’re afraid of getting punished.
Unfortunately, parents are often not aware that the way they are parenting is causing power struggles with their teens.
This blog post will discuss some tips for avoiding power struggles with your teen and maintaining a healthy relationship with them.
Raising Teens
Here are some signs that you may be engaging in too much control over your teen’s life:
1) You feel like you must threaten your teen into listening to you
2) Your teen takes long pauses before responding to you or asks you to repeat yourself
3) Your teen gets easily distracted while talking to you
4) You feel like your teenager does not care about what you have to say
5) You feel like it’s a battle of wills every time you talk to your teen
6) You feel like you must nag your teen about every little thing
7) Your teen asks for permission before doing something
If you can relate to any of these behaviors, you are likely too controlling.
Many parents struggle with all seven items on this list! It may be hard to believe, but these problems do not need to exist in your household.
There are many possible explanations for why teens act this way toward their parents. One of them is that they want a little more control in their lives and do not feel like they deserve all the power. It could also be a sign that your teen is trying to rebel against you, but it could also be a sign that there is something deeper going on.
Whatever the cause of your teen’s behavior, the solution is the same when raising teens:
start letting them have more freedom and control over their lives while still maintaining high expectations for how they treat others and perform in school while fostering a loving and supportive relationship with them your teen.
This can be not easy to accomplish, but here are some steps that you can take as a parent:
- Try to make your teen feel heard.
Quality time spent with your teen is a way to let them know that you care about what they have to say and that you are willing to invest some time into their lives. And always remember, raising teens power struggles with their teen will not solve any problems for parents!
But if teens want a little more freedom from rules from time to time, then why does this problem exist with so many parents?
There are a lot of explanations for how teens may behave when they do not get their way. For example, some have suggested that it is an act of rebellion from your teenager because you have been to controlling with them or that they want to test your limits. Another potential explanation is that they are trying to assert their power over you.
There are many ways to solve this problem with your teenager, but there are some guidelines that you should follow.
- Stop threatening them
You will find that teens often comply simply because they do not want the consequences of their behavior, not because they understand what you want them to do.
- Stop repeating yourself.
If your teen does not listen to you the first time and ignores your request, it is unnecessary to be repeated multiple times. That only makes the situation worse and causes more stress for both of you.raising teens .On top of that, nagging will not make them want to listen to you. It is more likely that they will ignore your request even more because you are being a nag.
- Stop treating them like they are trying to challenge you!
Teenagers do not think about the consequences of their actions as much as adults do or even care about the consequences. So why death grip over every little thing? Let your teen do what they want within reason and focus on one or two things you want them to stop doing.
- Give your teen your full attention when they talk to you.
They might be feeling like everything is an interrogation against their will, especially if it is happening a lot. So, if you notice this, try to turn all your attention and focus on them, so they know that you care about what they have to say and want to listen. If it is reasonable, why not let your teen do some things for themselves or slack off now and again?
- Try not to control your teen or micromanage everything they do.
They want a little bit of freedom, and the only way they will get it is if you give it to them.
It would help if you also stopped repeating yourself and explaining everything multiple times because it takes too much time and energy to keep repeating the same thing over and over.
Sure, you might think that your teen will eventually get what raising teens you want them to do if you repeat it enough times, but there is no point in bothering your teen with it like this. There are more efficient ways of achieving the same result.
- Try not to nag your teen too much.
Even if you are feeling very passionate about something because it is so important to you, do not take out that frustration on them because it will just cause resentment among both of you.raising teensmIf they have done something wrong, calmly tell them the consequences instead of shouting multiple.
- Avoid Lecturing or Telling Them What to Do:
When we lecture our teens or tell them what to do, it often backfires. They’re less likely to listen and more likely to rebel. Instead, try using a more collaborative approach, where you ask them for their ideas and work together towards it; you’re locked in a battle that can feel impossible to win.
If you believe that your teen’s behavior results from power struggles, but you still think that their misbehavior warrants having some consequences, there are plenty of alternatives out there. raising teensInstead of punishing them for something, why not take away a privilege they have?
Teens often want a lot of material objects, like expensive phones and the most recent fashion trends.
To restrict these things by grounding your teen from them for a few weeks or until they start showing better behavior.
And if you notice that your teenager is demanding freedom almost every time you talk to them, ask yourself why you are demanding so much control. Are you letting your teen make their own mistakes and get themselves out of the mess that comes with them?
If not, try to get away from this mindset and start giving your teen some freedom.
If they use it responsibly, there is no need for you to micromanage every aspect of their life. In the end, you must remember that teens are just kids and do not know everything yet. So, if you give them some freedom and they still do not take advantage of it, there is no reason for concern if it is within reasonable limits.
Conclusion
If you’re having trouble with your teen, don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is not easy raising a child growing into an adult, and it can wear on any parent.
There are many parenting courses available online or in-person that will give you the skills needed to improve communication at home.
Communication is critical when dealing with children of all ages but especially teens who think about how they should behave while living under your roof.
By knowing what challenges come up for most parents, learning from others’ mistakes, and getting support along the way – both emotional and physical – this frustrating stage of life doesn’t have to feel impossible!
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